The Practice Be grateful. |
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Why?
We experience gratitude when we are freely given something good. Therefore, looking for opportunities for gratitude – developing an “attitude of gratitude” – is a great way to notice and enjoy some of the gifts you’ve received. Gratitude does not mean ignoring difficulties, losses, or injustice. It just means also paying attention to the offerings that have come your way. Especially the little ones of everyday life. When you do this, you’re resting your mind increasingly on good things moving toward you, on being supported, on feelings of fullness – on the sense of having an open heart that moves toward an open hand. Fuller and fuller, more and more fed by life instead of drained by it, you naturally feel like you have more of value inside yourself and more to offer to others. And that is a very good thing. For example, studies by Robert Emmons and others have shown that gratitude is associated with greater well-being, better coping, and even better sleep (McCullough et al. 2001). |
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How?
Prime your pump by bringing to mind someone you naturally feel grateful toward. Perhaps a friend, parent or grandparent, teacher, spiritual being, or pet. Next, look around and notice, both here and now, and in the past:
These gifts are freely offered; no one can possibly earn them. All we can do is be grateful for these gifts, and do what we can in our own little corner of the world to use them well each day. Let yourself accept these gifts. It would be rude – ungrateful! – to refuse them. Remember that gratitude is not guilt or indebtedness – both of which actually make it harder to feel grateful. You may feel moved to be generous in turn – including in new directions, such as giving to some out of appreciation for what you have been given by others – but it will come from large-heartedness, not because you think you owe something. Gratitude moves us away from let’s-make-a-deal exchanges in relationships toward a sense of abundance, in which you feel fed beyond measure and in turn give with all your heart without keeping score. Then recognize the benefits to you of what has been given. Reflect on how it helps you and those you care about, makes you feel good, and fuels your own generosity in turn. And recognize the benevolence of the giver, whether it is a person, Mother Nature, or the physical universe – or, if this is meaningful to you, something Divine. Don’t minimize the benevolence to avoid feeling unworthy or indebted; open up to it as a telling of the truth, as a giving back to the giver, and as a joyful leaning toward that which is truly gift-giving in your world. Last, soak up the gifts coming to you, whatever they are. Let them become part of you, woven into your body, brain, and being. As you inhale, as you relax, as you open, take in the good that you’ve been given. *** Reprinted with kind permission of Rick Hanson ***
* BIOGRAPHY
 Rick Hanson, Ph.D., is a psychologist, Senior Fellow of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, and New York Times best-selling author. His books include Hardwiring Happiness (in 14 languages), Buddha’s Brain (in 25 languages), Just One Thing (in 14 languages), and Mother Nurture.
He edits the Wise Brain Bulletin and has several audio programs. A summa cum laude graduate of UCLA and founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom, he’s been an invited speaker at Oxford, Stanford, and Harvard, and taught in meditation centers worldwide.
His work has been featured on BBC, CBS, and NPR, and he offers the free Just One Thing newsletter with over 109,000 subscribers, plus the online Foundations of Well-Being program in positive neuroplasticity.
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